Men need "chase space" to fall in love. They need to be inspired by a woman who is high maintenance in the love department. If you become his undocumented wife, housekeeper, lover, companion and friend, and share the finances for the apartment,food and entertainment, he won't be able to chase you nor will he be willing to marry you easily, because he knows too much about you. Why should he marry you when he doesn't really have to?

If a woman requires a man to make a commitment before sex, to a long term goal of marriage and monogamy, she may lose the guy who only wants sex, but she will not lose a man who wants to marry. If a woman requires at least an engagement ring and a wedding date before living with him, she may lose the man who wants a freebie loaner wife, but not the man who wants to marry.

Romance happens in the courtship phase. It's purpose is to build good positive memories on which a marriage can be built. If you live together, the natural problems which will emerge, will disallow romantic fantasies which are so important. Not enough day dreaming time and too much problem solving can make a relationship a business deal rather than an exchange of respect for cherishing.

In the western world, where marriages are romantically based rather than "arranged", living together is statistically not a good way to begin or build a romance leading to a good marriage.

Sandra Harmon

SANDRA HARMON

Sandra Harmon has become one of the country's most popular Love, Dating, Sex and Relationship Coach since the phenomenal success of her two, best selling, self help books, the powerful and ground breaking "Getting To I Do" and it?s sequel, "Staying Married and Loving It".

Sandra's one-on-one love, sex, dating and relationship coaching is geared strictly toward her clients personal needs and goals. Known as "The Love Coach To The Stars", her clients, many of whom are Hollywood superstars and power brokers, all swear by her simple but successful methods for helping them find and keep lasting love.

A popular public speaker on relationship issues and celebrity marriages, Sandra is a frequent guest on such television shows as "Montel" and "Maury" and has been featured on hundreds of radio shows, newspapers and magazines.

Sandra has also had an extraordinary career as a journalist, TV writer and film maker. She won an Emmy Award for writing the late-night talk show, "The Dick Cavett Show" for ABC-TV. She wrote and produced Real Life Stories, on Lifetime Television, and was the head writer of "The New Bill Cosby Show", an ABC-TV comedy variety series.

Sandra's popular first novel, the critically acclaimed, "A Girl Like Me", which was based on her on life, was published by Dutton Books. She also wrote and produced the television movie, "Fast Friends" for NBC, which was based on her own experiences as a writer on "The Dick Cavett Show". She also produced "Promises to Keep" a CBS movie starring Claire Bloom and Robert Mitchum.,

Sandra is also the co-author of "Elvis and Me" - (the story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley - written with Priscilla Presley ) - which sold nearly one million copies in hard cover and three million in paperback and was, according to The Wall Street Journal, the tenth largest seller of the l980's, occupying the #l spot on the New York Times Best seller list for more than fifty weeks in both hard and soft cover.