GO TELL THE SPARTANS (1978) is a movie you shouldnt worry about missing. Its a Vietnam War movie that is totally outclassed by the worthy examples of the same genre like Apocalypse Now, Platoon or the Full Metal Jacket.

Why do people make trite and hackneyed movies like this, Ill never now. And bona fide stars like Burt Lancaster probably get involved with such unforgettable flicks for one reason alone theyre in a tight fix for some quick cash. Another reason does not come to mind easily.

Story in a nutshell:

An American Army advisory outfit in Vietnam headed by Major Barker (Burt Lancaster) is assigned a task for which its not ready: to go secure a Vietnamese village in the Vietcong territory.

The ragtag army of U.S. army misfits and their local south Vietnamese peasant contractors go and do exactly that, but not for too long. Eventually the superior and more disciplined Viet Cong forces inflict the same defeat on Barkers forces that theyve inflicted two decades age on the French.

The hard-shelled Barker is neither a hero nor a villain. He's just a nobody. It is hard to identify with and root for a disillusioned aging Major who has no redeeming virtues except blurting out a lame "Shit!" every time the situation gets out of hand.

It is the tragicomic story of an ill-fitted army unit headed by an unhappy and cynical Major who was not promoted due to his unchecked alcohol and sexual habits.

The production values are a little better than the average high school stage play. A cheap movie with unlovable characters mouthing off hackneyed dialog and all roll towards an end that is as fresh as stale salami.

And of course the worst is the title itself. The epitaph Go Tell the Spartans that once decorated the tombstones of those Spartan soldiers who died while fighting the Persian armies at the battle of Marathon implies by association that we are facing the same kind of heroes here who have performed their duty well and with civic pride. The band of bumbling amateurs in this movie are anything but the Spartan warriors of the old.

Deserves barely a 2 out of 10.

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